If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
