How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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