I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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