im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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