Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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