youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize