I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You are the jesus of drinking
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
