Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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