I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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