I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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