the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
