It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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