obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
home. puking in laundry basket.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Alive.
So much puke
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
