I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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