1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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