Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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