Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Who died my cat blue again?
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