He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
