Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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