I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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