how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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