i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
