I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize