there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
