I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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