White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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