I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
