my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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