i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
