i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i've created a new STD.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I touched a dick in church today
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