Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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