It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
