she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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