My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
