He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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