Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
