He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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