doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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