"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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