If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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