We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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