I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
