If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
