so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
