I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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