You smell like a Billy Joel song
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He? As in you personified your dick?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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