PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
