I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
