i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
