i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
