Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
