took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
