if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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