The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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