Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
