what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So gin and wine won't be happening again
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
