my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize