Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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