it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
