He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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