so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize