it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
