Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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