I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
