the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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