i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
