you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
