How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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