addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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