i don't like sucking hair
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
