Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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