I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
