Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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