Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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