Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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