While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize