Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sorry about my life...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize