How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
