I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
