better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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