if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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