If you die in college, do you die in real life?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
